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Our Collected Resources
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About Our Resources
This is a working list of resources and is by no means exhaustive. If you know of a resource that you would like to see added, please contact us. Please note that we are not responsible for the content of any other site. Use your own discretion.
Resources Written by James Walther
- Articles
- Courses
- Support Groups
- Downloads
Featured Resources
- Recommended Catholic Coaches
- Other Educational Resources
- Intimate Supplies
Other Theological Resources on Catholic Sexual Ethics
- Magisterial Documents
- Doctors of the Church
- Other Theological Sources
Common Questions
- Your Questions That We've Answered
Have More Questions?
- Our Team Is Dedicated to Answering Your Questions
Resources Produced by James Walther, MA, ABS
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Articles
Selections of Theology for Married Couples
- Part I: “The Ends of Marriage & Graces.” October 3, 2022.
- Part II: “Justice & Chastity: The Marriage Debt.” October 25, 2022.
- Part III: “The Marital Act, Cardinal Rule, and Pleasure Principles.” November 2, 2022.
- Part IV: “The Moral Permissibility of Marital Aids, Oral and Anal Stimulation.” November 22, 2022.
- Part V: “Getting Frisky: Incomplete Sexual Acts.” October 7, 2023.
- Part VI: “Masturbation in Marriage.” January 4, 2024.
- Part VII: “Erotic Lactation: Sexy or Strange?” November 12, 2024.
The Legitimacy of the Marital Act with Regards to Circumstances
- Times - Part I: “Is Sex During Lent Sinful?.” March 19, 2023.
- Times - Part II: “Can Catholics Have Sex During the Wife’s Menstrual Period?.” May 14, 2023.
- Times - Part III: “Can Catholics Have Sex While Pregnant?.” April 22, 2024.
Courses
Support Groups
Downloads
Free Courses or Resources
Featured Resources
Covenant Eyes - This is a fantastic resource for anyone trying to overcome an addiction or even just occasional falls to pornography.
Recommended Catholic Coaches and Courses
Catholic Sex Coaches
- James Walther, MA, ABS (Catholic Intimacy) - Works with both men and women individually and as couples.
- Ellen Holloway (Charting Toward Intimacy) - #1 sex and intimacy podcaster for Catholic women.
Other Intimacy Courses for Catholics
- Sarah Bartel, PhD (Cana Feast) - Courses on marital intimacy for Catholic women by a moral theologian, wife, and mother.
Other Catholic Life Coaches
- Heidi Kennedy - Life and mindset coach for Catholic women
- Pastoral Solutions Institute (CatholicCounselors.com)
Other Educational Resources
- Married Couples - Forever After at the Catholic Military Ordinariate of Australia - This page lists recommended resources, including Catholic Intimacy, for Australian military personnel and their families.
- ChristianFriendlySexPositions.com - This site uses stick-figure illustrations to demonstrate dozens of sex positions. Both newlyweds and seasoned spouses will find ideas for new things to try in the bedroom.
- MaritalSex.org (Warning: contains graphic content.) - This site is run by a Catholic man and provides some interesting reflections on sex and intimacy.
- Popcak, Gregory K. Holy Sex!: A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving. New York: Crossroads, 2008. Available from Amazon. This book should be required reading for every marriage prep program.
- Our First Year of Marriage journal by Covenant Co.
Intimate Supplies
- Married Dance - The top Christian-friendly sex toy and marital aid store. They also sell lingerie, furniture, and positioning devices.
- Covenant Spice - Sex toys for married couples.
- Honoring Intimates - Lingerie options from conservative to classy to spicy - all displayed and shipped model-free.
- Ginger & Peach Lingerie - Classy, model-free lingerie designed and produced by a Christian wife and mother.
- Mentionables - High-quality, size-inclusive lingerie on a model-free site.
Other Theological Resources on Catholic Sexual Ethics
Magisterial Documents
Constitutions
- Part II: Chapter I: Fostering the Nobility of Marriage and the Family (par. 47-52)
Encyclicals
Exhortations
Allocutions
- In this address, the Pope speaks about NFP and abstinence in marriage.
Declarations
Catechisms
Doctors of the Church
Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)
Thomas Aquinas. Commentary on the Letters of Saint Paul to the Corinthians. At Aquinas Institute, aquinas.cc.
———. Commentary on the Sentences. At Aquinas Institute, aquinas.cc.
- Sentences IV, d. 26-42 - These “distinctions” concern various aspects of marriage. They are the earliest writings of Aquinas on Marriage.
———. Summa Theologiæ. At Aquinas Institute, aquinas.cc.
- III Supplementum, q. 41-68 - These address numerous questions concerning marriage. Questions 50-62 are primarily concerned with impediments which prevent the valid contracting of marriage. These questions were complied from Aquinas’s earlier works, principally the Commentary on the Sentences, after his death by his secretary, Br. Reginald.
Saint Francis de Sales (1567-1622)
- De Sales, Francis. Philothea or An Introduction to the Devout Life. Charlotte: TAN Books, 2010. Available from Amazon.
This work is very useful for fostering devotion, which is important for marital intimacy. Part III: chapters 38-29 discuss the marital debt.
Other Theological Sources
- Fastiggi, Robert. Catholic Sexual Morality. Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock, 2017. Available from Amazon.
- Lansnoski, Kent. “Alphonsus Ligouri’s Moral Theology of Marriage: Refreshing Realism, Continued Relevance.” Nova et Vetera 9.4 (2011): 1003-28, at Academia.edu, www.academia.edu.
- May, William E., Ronald Lawler, & Joseph Boyle. Catholic Sexual Ethics: A Summary, Explanation, & Defense. 3rd ed. Huntington, IN: Our Sunday Visitor, 2011. Available from Amazon.
- Tanquerey, Adolphe. Synopsis Theologiæ Moralis et Pastoralis. Vol. 1. De Pænitentia, De Matrimonio et Ordine. 9th ed. Rome: Desclée & Co., 1922.
- West, Christopher. Good News about Sex & Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions about Catholic Teaching. Updated, Revised & Expanded ed. Cincinnati: Servant, 2018. Available from Amazon.
Common Questions
About Catholic Intimacy
What is Catholic Intimacy?
Catholic Intimacy is a small business founded by James and Megan Walther to foster virtuous marital romance and love. To do this we provide coaching, courses, articles, and other resources in a safe space for Catholics.
What makes Catholic Intimacy "Catholic"?
- Catholic Intimacy was founded not only as a business but also as a lay apostolate of a Catholic married couple to other married couples.
- As an apostolate, we desire to provide faithfully Catholic coaching, courses, articles, and other resources.
- We are open to review and correction by the appropriate Ecclesiastical authorities.
- With that said, Catholic Intimacy, LLC is a private business. Neither Catholic Intimacy as a whole, nor any particular article or statement has formal approbation from, endorsement of, or association with the hierarchy of the Catholic Church or any religious community, institute, or order, except where specified.
Who is Catholic Intimacy for?
Catholic intimacy is primarily intended for married and hoping-to-be-married Catholics; however, we welcome all adults of goodwill to make use of our site.
Doctrinal Questions
What are the ends of marriage?
The primary end of marriage is the procreation and education of children, while the secondary ends are the mutual support of the spouses and the remedy of concupiscence.
For more information, please see this article.
What are the graces of marriage?
The sacrament of matrimony confers grace to sanctify the couple. Further, it confers a right to receive actual graces necessary for their state in life, namely:
- For the procreation and Christian education of children,
- For the fostering of their chaste marital love, and
- For the moderation of concupiscence.
For more information, please see this article.
What is the marital debt?
The marital debt is the right that spouses have to sex with their spouse.
Moral Questions
What is the “Cardinal Rule” governing marital intercourse?
First of all, a cardinal rule is rule upon which others depend, not to the exclusion of other rules. The cardinal rule to moral marital intercourse is that the completed act must be open to the procreation of children. This means that:
- Male ejaculation occurs in the vaginal cavity,
- The semen is not removed from the vaginal cavity,
- Nothing is done by natural or artificial means to prevent fertilization.
Can Catholics use marital lubricants (sex lube)?
Yes, marital lubricants may be used so long as they are used in accordance with the Cardinal Rule, i.e. do not contain spermicides.
Can Catholics use marital aids (sex toys)?
Yes, marital aids may be used as long as they are used in accordance with the Cardinal Rule. Marital aids are a large category of items, including vibrators, penis rings, etc. As inanimate objects, they have no moral value in themselves, but in how they are used. While masturbatory practices must always be avoided, it is permissible to use marital aids to complete the marital act and/or achieve mutual orgasm.
Can Catholics use lingerie/intimates?
Yes, although offensive, objectifying, and demeaning outfits should be avoided, it is permissible to adorn oneself to please one’s spouse.
Can Catholics have oral sex?
Catholics can use oral stimulation as part of foreplay or afterplay of a complete marital act. It is not permissible to give or receive oral stimulation apart from the marital act.
Can Catholics have anal sex?
Catholics can use anal stimulation as part of foreplay or afterplay of a complete marital act. It is not permissible to give or receive anal stimulation apart from the marital act.
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