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Sexual devices often carry a stigma as mere “toys” designed solely for pleasure. However, a growing body of expert opinion is reframing the conversation—suggesting that many of these products function more as essential “tools” for overcoming sexual challenges rather than indulgent extras. For example, Dr. Lauren Streicher has introduced the concept of “vibrator therapy” for women who struggle to reach orgasm, emphasizing that a vibrator is not just about intensifying pleasure but about making orgasm possible.
Hit me. Catholic sexual ethics, emotional connection, painful sex, techniques, toys, nothing is off limits.
Masturbation is per se (i.e., in and of itself) gravely sinful. This means that it is always sinful, including in marriage. Since we started Catholic Intimacy, many people have contacted me to ask whether one or another act was masturbatory or if masturbation would be allowed in x, y, or z situations. So, hopefully, if you are here with a question like that, this article will clarify things.
From a Reader: Please help us in clarifying a long standing confusion. Is it sinful for spouses to orally and manually stimulate each other’s genitals while abstaining from full marital union?
Historically, it was believed that children conceived during the menstrual period were usually, if not always, afflicted with blindness, lameness, leprosy, etc. Saint Thomas Aquinas writes that this ban was in place, not only for the ceremonial reason, but also because of the harm that would befall the children conceived.
Can Catholics do oral sex? Can Catholics do anal sex? Can Catholics use sex toys?
If you found this site because you did an internet search for one of those questions and want a short answer then here it is: it depends on what you mean by those terms.
“In necessary things unity, in doubtful matters freedom, in all things charity.” Augustine
As Humanae Vitae teaches, “it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life.” Following the example of Dr. Popcak, I have referred to this as the One Rule. Now, however, I prefer to refer to this as the “Cardinal Rule”. I have this preference because a cardinal rule is a rule upon which others depend, not to the exclusion of other rules. Calling the rule that every marital act must be open to procreation the “One Rule” gives the unfortunate impression that there are no other rules.
Every person brings their own experience, beliefs, and perspectives to the table for every single interaction. These expectations drive emotions and can either create or destroy intimacy, depending on how they’re handled.
This lesson introduces moral theology in the context of marital intimacy, exploring St. Thomas Aquinas' distinction between human acts and acts of man. It covers the eight stages of a human act, the three moral elements (object, intention, and circumstances), and how ignorance and fear affect moral responsibility. Learners will gain a theological framework for ensuring intimacy aligns with God’s plan, fostering virtue, love, and unity in marriage.