Can Catholics Have Sex During the Wife’s Menstrual Period?

The Legitimacy of the Marital Act with Regards to Circumstances: Times - Part 2.

This is an interesting question because intercourse during a woman’s menstrual period was explicitly forbidden in the Old Testament under the penalty of death for both (Lev. 20:18). Menstruation caused temporary ceremonial uncleanliness. Since the ceremonial law has been replaced in the New Covenant, that part of the ban was lifted.

Historically, it was believed that children conceived during the menstrual period were usually, if not always, afflicted with blindness, lameness, leprosy, etc. Saint Thomas Aquinas writes that this ban was in place, not only for the ceremonial reason, but also because of the harm that would befall the children conceived. Since the primary end of marriage is the good of the children, then intercourse that would cause harm to the child conceived is opposed to that end. Thus, in the mind of Saint Thomas, the moral ban on intercourse during the flow is still in effect.¹*

Now that modern medicine can say with confidence that blindness, lameness, and leprosy are not caused by intercourse during the menstrual period, that ban is lifted.²* We don’t want, however, to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Aquinas’s reasoning was sound. This predicament arose because the premise (i.e., that intercourse during the flow causes harm to the children conceived) is false. The error was on the part of medicine, not theology. This is another example of how theology, as the highest science, uses the other sciences. When those sciences discover and correct their own errors, then the theological conclusions based on those errors can be re-examined and corrected, as needed.

Aquinas addresses this issue in two articles in the III Supplementum, under question 64 on the marital debt. Once we adjust for corrected medical science, the conclusion follows that the marital debt for both spouses (i.e. both in the paying and asking) is still in effect, unless intercourse would cause grave harm to one or the other.

Here is what the Sulpician Father Adolphe Tanquerey had to say in 1922 (again some of his medical data is outdated, but his reasoning and advice are sound):

24. (D) Concerning time. [...]

(b) During the time of ordinary menstrual flow, intercourse is not per se illicit,¹ since conception may take place at that time, and indeed more easily than at another time.² But women, when they are suffering the flow, naturally shrink from all marital intercourse; besides they render the debt not without danger to their health; the man himself can contract some illness (urethritis),³* if blood, which remains in the vagina, is in any way spoiled,³ hence it is wiser to abstain from intercourse during that time. — During a time of extraordinary flow, which lasts a longer time, intercourse is licit, so long as the illness, which the woman suffers and which causes the flow, does not become much worse because of it: about which a doctor will judge. A man, however, who cares for the health of his wife, will abstain from frequent copulation in these circumstances, so that the illness may diminish and be cured.⁴*

Tanquerey’s Footnotes:

1. It was prohibited under the Old Law, and indeed under pain of death (Lev. 15:19-20; 20:18); perhaps because in hot regions the flow tends to be more copious, and part of the blood which remains in the organs is easily spoiled, and it can give very bad illnesses to the man.

2. Hence the sterile can be advised to have intercourse during the time of menstruation, if they have not conceived at other times.⁵*

3. Vigouroux, [Tr. de Médecine, t. IV], p. 64. — By no means is it to be feared that, through intercourse during this time, leprosy be contracted or a monster generated: indeed this tale has already been rejected long ago.

My Take

If this question comes up in your marriage, communicate with your spouse. In a virtuous Catholic marriage, the debt should never need to be demanded by either spouse; asking should be sufficient.

Men, if it’s going to be really painful or repulsive for her, then this is probably a great time to practice the virtue of abstinence. Better that than to have your beloved wife in tears because of the pain while you are finishing. If, on the other hand, she asks for it and you are repulsed by it, then it is probably a good time to suck it up and meet your wife’s needs.

Ladies, if you are one of those whose libido goes up during your period or for whom sex can help to alleviate some of your period pain, communicate with your husband about it. If he’s one of those that is repulsed by it, communicate with him about your needs and, perhaps, you can find a way to make the situation more enticing for him. For example, you could clean yourself thoroughly down there and wear some lingerie. If he’s asking for the debt and you think that it will be painful for you, you might consider trying manual or oral stimulation to get him close to ejaculation and then have him penetrate you to complete the act.

Tips for Period Sex

In any case, if you or your spouse are feeling frisky and it’s that time of the month, here are some pointers that will help to make it an enjoyable time for both of you.

• Be completely honest with your spouse about how you are feeling physically and emotionally. If this grosses you out, tell them.

• Wives, remove your feminine product (tampon, menstrual cup, etc.).

• Either

  • Have shower or tub sex,

  • Put down a dark-colored towel or a sex blanket (BTW, this is a good idea in general), or

  • Use waterproof sheets.

• Have some clean-up wipes on hand.

• Use a shallow penetration position.

Footnotes (*)

1. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiæ, III Supplementum, q. 64, a. 3, at Aquinas Institute, https://aquinas.cc/la/en/~ST.IIISup.Q64.A3.

2. Elias E. Mazokopakis and George Samonis, “Is Vaginal Sexual Intercourse Permitted during Menstruation? A Biblical (Christian) and Medical Approach,” Maedica (Bucur) 13(3) (Sep. 2018): 183-188, at National Library of Medicine, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.

3. It seems that this is no longer considered a cause of by medical professionals. C.f., Lisa D. Mills and Trevor Mills, “Urethritis in Men,” ed. Melissa Conrad Stöppler, June 30, 2022, at eMedicineHealth, emedicinehealth.com.

4. Adolphe Tanquerey, “Supplementum ad Tr. de Matrimonio,” in Synopsis Theologiæ Moralis et Pastoralis, vol. 1, De Pænitentia, De Matrimonio et Ordine, 9th ed. (Rome: Desclée & Co., 1922), n. 24.

5. Modern medicine now says that although there is a REDUCED chance of pregnancy resulting from period sex, it is not statistically impossible. This is both because women’s periods vary in length and because semen can live in the female reproductive tract for up to 5 days. C.f., “Can You Get Pregnant on Your Period?,” at American Pregnancy Association, americanpregnancy.com.