Can sex be meritorious?
David Jackson, CC BY-SA 2.0 UK, via Wikimedia Commons
When sex comes up in Catholic circles it is usually as something immoral (fornication, adultery, etc.) or as that fun thing that married couples do to make babies. It is much rarer to hear anyone say that sex can be meritorious. It’s as though most Catholics believe that even within the bonds of marriage sex is morally tolerated, i.e. a fault or morally indifferent, but not something that is pleasing to God. Let’s look more closely at what makes an act meritorious or sinful to better understand the marital act and what that means for our moral lives.
Human Acts
Humans have two types of acts: acts of man (actus hominis) and human acts (actus humanus). Acts of man are all those actions which we do without really thinking about them, e.g., scratching our beard, yawning, passing gas, etc. Human acts are those that proceed from our will, i.e. we choose to do them. Choice is essential for an act to be moral or immoral. If there is no choice or capacity for choice then the act is morally indifferent. On the flip side, every human act (actus humanus) is a moral act: either right or wrong, virtuous or sinful.
Definition: Morality is the agreement or disagreement of a human act with the norms that regulate human conduct with reference to man’s Last End. The act which is in agreement with those norms is morally good; the act which is in disagreement with them is morally bad. An act that neither agrees nor disagrees with the norms of morality, is called morally indifferent.
(John McHugh & Charles Callan, Moral Theology, Vol. 1, ed. Farrell (Veritatis Splendor Publications, 2014), no. 64.)
Elements of a Moral Act
There are three elements of a moral act: object, intention, circumstances.
For an act to be virtuous all three elements must be good.
A bad object always makes for a bad (sinful) act.
Examples regarding sex:
Bad object: sex between two unmarried people is the sin of fornication, regardless of the intention and circumstances.
Bad intention: sex with one’s spouse (object) while lusting about another person (intention) is a form of adultery for the spouse that is lusting.
Bad circumstances: sex between spouses (object) as an act of love for each other (intention) while in a public place in front of others (circumstances) is a mortal sin against modesty.
All elements good: sex between spouses (object) as an act of love for each other (intention) in the privacy of their bedroom (circumstances) is morally good.
Merit
Definitions: “Merit is the right to a reward arising from works done for God. Demerit is the debt of punishment incurred on account of works done against God.”
(McHugh, no. 107.)
From these definitions, one might be inclined to wonder how the marital act, even if moral, is meritorious, i.e. a work done for God. Let us look to the holy Tobais for our model:
[4] Then Tobias exhorted the virgin, and said to her: Sara, arise, and let us pray to God today, and tomorrow, and the next day: because for these three nights we are joined to God: and when the third night is over, we will be in our own wedlock. [5] For we are the children of saints, and we must not be joined together like heathens that know not God.
[6] So they both arose, and prayed earnestly both together that health might be given them, [7] And Tobias said: Lord God of our father, may the heavens and the earth, and the sea, and the fountains, and the rivers, and all thy creatures that are in them, bless thee. [8] Thou madest Adam of the slime of the earth, and gavest him Eve for a helper. [9] And now, Lord, thou knowest, that not for fleshly lust do I take my sister to wife, but only for the love of posterity, in which thy name may be blessed for ever and ever. [10] Sara also said: Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us, and let us grow old both together in health.
(Tobias 8:4-10, drbo.org - Emphasis added.)
Conclusion
We can understand therefore from verse 9 that the primary end of marriage (the procreation and education of children) is for the glory of God. We don’t have children simply for our own enjoyment or for the preservation of the species, but rather ultimately to add voices to the heavenly chorus. With that understanding, it is much easier to see that so long as the marital act is moral (which includes the openness to life) it is very pleasing to God.
Thus, we can conclude that sex can be meritorious. That means, for those of us with the vocation to marriage, sex is a part of our growth in the spiritual life. We should therefore treat it as something holy and good, and we should strive to do it better.
