Intimacy During the Christmas Season
The Christmas season is a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration, but it can also bring stress, packed schedules, and exhaustion. Between shopping, hosting, and navigating extended family dynamics, it’s easy for marital intimacy to take a back seat. However, with intention and grace, this season can become an opportunity to strengthen the bond with your spouse, fostering a deeper connection that carries you into the new year.
The Marital Debt & Marital Rape
Responses to Katie and SadTrad
“Does Pope Saint John Paul II have anything to say on the topic of martial debt?” - Katie
“Lots of people today deny the existence of the marital debt, thinking that they’re protecting women, but this is only putting them in greater danger…The older I get the more convinced I become that besides Jesus, all men are sociopaths.” - SadTrad
Erotic Lactation: Sexy or Strange?
“My question is on the theme of breastfeeding (i.e., a husband orally drawing breast milk from his wife's breasts). I have seen the act called "adult breastfeeding" and even "erotic lactation" on secular sites.”
Take the Life Ring!
Although the rates are lower than the general population, Catholics do get divorced. Far more live for years and even the rest of their lives in unhappy marriages. For many couples, including those who would say that their marriage is strong, sex is a point of division rather than unity. This can come from a variety of factors. There may be sexual trauma, sex may be painful, there may be a fear of getting pregnant, there may be emotional or physical abuse or neglect. For some couples, sex is a bargaining chip or a manipulation tool.
NFP and Intimacy
Guest Post by Haley Yeager, FCP, MA
Natural family planning is used for much more than timing conception. Time and time again, as an NFP instructor myself, I see couples starting to communicate better, gain more trust in each other, and even have better sex because of their commitment to NFP.
Catholic and Kinky
Guest Post by Joe Williams
Sex between spouses must be an expression of mutual self-giving love. It cannot be harmful or degrading even if it is open to procreation. This begs the question of the licitness of so called kinky sexual practices such as BDSM.
Common Objections to Coaching
Even after doing this for a couple of years, I still get excited when I get a new client. I really enjoy helping people to have more satisfying and fulfilling sex lives and in turn better marriages. It has been such a blessing for me to see marriages transform through this process. This transformation is what Catholic Intimacy is all about. It is what we pray for, have masses offered for, and have even suffered for. But not everyone is ready for change.
Can Catholics Manscape?
"I would like your opinion on a specific issue: the topic of pubic hair grooming. Some Catholic sources suggest that complete shaving can be considered inappropriate or sinful, often citing concerns about motives and potential deceitfulness (because you're trying to make yourself look like a child). However, these sources typically do say anything about grooming based on the preferences to your spouse.
Could you please share your thoughts on this? Thanks a ton." - James A.
Can Catholics Practice BDSM?
"Also, what are your thoughts on BDSM? Clearly the overwhelming vast majority of it seems sinful and wicked, but is it to be condemned anbsolutely and without residue?" - John S.
Catholic Intimacy Turns Two
Two years ago today, Megan and I went down a rabbit hole and she came up with this crazy idea. That night I bought catholicintimacy.com and we started brainstorming the business plan.
What are your questions?
Hit me. Catholic sexual ethics, emotional connection, painful sex, techniques, toys, nothing is off limits.
Your Catholic Sexologist
“The Board has reviewed your status as an Apprentice in Sexology and feels that based on your experience, you deserve to be a full Certified Sexologist…I and a few other Board members have found that your website at https://www.catholicintimacy.com/ to be refreshing and a rarity in today’s changing world…Keep up with the good work you and your wife provide from the Catholic perspective.”
Christopher Smith, Ph.D., LMFT, ABS
ABS Board Chair President
Porn Sex vs. Marital Intercourse
For anyone who has seen pornography and marital intercourse, this should be pretty obvious: porn sex is nothing like marital intercourse. Unfortunately, pornography is everywhere these days and it is practically impossible to make it to adulthood without seeing some of it. Thus, I feel that it is necessary to bring this up for those who may be confused, especially those young men and women who are hoping to be married one day. Feel free to share this article with them.
Bad Sex: How to Stop Having It
So the majority of my clients come to me with one goal in mind: stop having bad sex. Now what makes sex bad looks different for each couple, but by and large the number one reason is that the wife just doesn’t enjoy it. I can help with that. There is no good reason to settle for bad sex.
Memorial Day Letter Home
Fort Somewhere
My Dearest Love, I love you so much. Happy Memorial Day. As always, we started the day at zero dark thirty with the annual Murphy run. After hygiene, they spoiled us with a hot meal and coffee. Later today we will take part in a parade and some ceremonies around post. I’m sure that at some point we will listen to a message from the commander. This evening, we may get lucky and have some BBQ. No beer, of course, but that’s normal here….
Catholic Teaching on the Female Orgasm
Despite mankind’s advances in medicine and research, the female orgasm remains quite a mystery both academically and practically. Some consider them as a pleasant, although unnecessary, side effect of sex, ignoring their importance in female sexual satisfaction and overall marital happiness (Dienberg et al., 2023). So what does the Church say about women’s orgasms?
Best Basic Sex Positions
One of the most common areas that I address with new sex coaching clients is positions. Not all positions work for all clients. For example, I have had a client with partial paralysis who could only use one position, so in their case I just taught them how to use it more effectively. But most of my clients benefit from having 2-4 go-to positions. Here are some of the best ones.
New Course and Articles
Over the past few weeks, I have finally gotten around to finishing a slew of articles. For a teaser, the image above is from one of those articles. We are in the process of overhauling our marketing strategies, so we may not be posting all of these articles on our social media accounts. If you want to keep up with these articles then please subscribe to our mailing list. Here are some of the upcoming article titles…
Can Catholics Have Sex While Pregnant?
In general, yes, it is morally permissible for Catholics to have sex while the wife is pregnant. There are, however, exceptions and certain considerations that have to be made.
Exploring Erogenous Zones
An erogenous zone (EZ) refers to an area of the human body that, when stimulated, can elicit sexual arousal and pleasure. These zones comprise about 24% of the human body. Many of these zones have no anatomical link to the genitals, and sometimes orgasm can even be achieved through stimulation of these extra-genital erogenous zones. Although generally the same for both men and women, EZs can vary from person to person in terms of sensitivity and preferred methods of stimulation. Below are a few examples with tips for stimulating them.