Your Catholic Sexologist
“The Board has reviewed your status as an Apprentice in Sexology and feels that based on your experience, you deserve to be a full Certified Sexologist…I and a few other Board members have found that your website at https://www.catholicintimacy.com/ to be refreshing and a rarity in today’s changing world…Keep up with the good work you and your wife provide from the Catholic perspective.”
Christopher Smith, Ph.D., LMFT, ABS
ABS Board Chair President
Getting Frisky: Incomplete Sexual Acts
From a Reader: Please help us in clarifying a long standing confusion. Is it sinful for spouses to orally and manually stimulate each other’s genitals while abstaining from full marital union?
Festal Roses: The Marital State and Sanctity
As Catholics, every moment of our day, every part of our lives should be imbued with our Faith. There is never an inappropriate time to think of pious and holy things. Every room in our homes should have a crucifix and pious images. We should live ever in the presence of God and His Blessed Mother. Nor is there ever an inappropriate time to pray. The greatest saints live in a sort of constant state of prayer, known as the unitive way.
The Moral Permissibility of Marital Aids, Oral and Anal Stimulation
Can Catholics do oral sex? Can Catholics do anal sex? Can Catholics use sex toys?
If you found this site because you did an internet search for one of those questions and want a short answer then here it is: it depends on what you mean by those terms.
The Marital Act, Cardinal Rule, and Pleasure Principles
“In necessary things unity, in doubtful matters freedom, in all things charity.” Augustine
As Humanae Vitae teaches, “it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life.” Following the example of Dr. Popcak, I have referred to this as the One Rule. Now, however, I prefer to refer to this as the “Cardinal Rule”. I have this preference because a cardinal rule is a rule upon which others depend, not to the exclusion of other rules. Calling the rule that every marital act must be open to procreation the “One Rule” gives the unfortunate impression that there are no other rules.
The Ends of Marriage & Graces
Catholic Intimacy is partially a response to the plethora of erroneous marriage resources claiming to be Catholic. On one side we have Jansenists, who think that they are traditional, and on the other we have liberals who are pure hedonists. Catholic theology on marriage falls well between these two extremes, unfortunately the Church’s teachings on the matter can be rather difficult to find, unless you read Latin and have access to old theological manuals. Fortunately for us, I do read Latin, I do have a collection of reputable manuals in my library, and I have over ten years of formation to know how to read them and explain them for you.
Can sex be meritorious?
When sex comes up in Catholic circles it is usually as something immoral (fornication, adultery, etc.) or as that fun thing that married couples do to make babies. It is much rarer to hear anyone say that sex can be meritorious. It’s as though most Catholics believe that even within the bonds of marriage sex is morally tolerated, i.e. a fault or morally indifferent, but not something that is pleasing to God. Let’s look more closely at what makes an act meritorious or sinful to better understand the marital act and what that means for our moral lives.