Memorial Day Letter Home
+
J.M.J.
27 MAY 2024
Fort Somewhere
My Dearest Love,
I love you so much. Happy Memorial Day. As always, we started the day at zero dark thirty with the annual Murphy run. After hygiene, they spoiled us with a hot meal and coffee. Later today we will take part in a parade and some ceremonies around post. I’m sure that at some point we will listen to a message from the commander. This evening, we may get lucky and have some BBQ. No beer, of course, but that’s normal here.
Memorial Day is always a paradoxical day. So many treat it as the official start of summer and the bi-annual federal three-day. To be fair, it’s usually pretty chill and we get better food. It’s one of the days when people love to come up to thank us for our service and everyone in the media says something patriotic and positive about service members The problem is that today is not for BBQ or us. It’s for our fallen brothers and sisters-in-arms.
I don’t know anyone wearing the uniform who hasn’t had to bury a family member or friend who also served. Some died as is fitting to our profession: they closed with the enemy and fell fighting honorably. That’s the ideal, that sort of death at least sounds better. But death is death and the survivors must carry on. Many, if not most, of us carry the burden of the loss of our battle buddies. That is a hard burden to carry and is probably why more of our ranks die in garrison than in theater. 22 of us a day chose the permanent solution. Thousands of others drown their sorrows in drugs and alcohol. So, while it’s treated as a party weekend, for many of us it is a painful reminder of lost friends.
In 2002, my family moved to a farm outside one of Fort Cambell’s back gates. A few years later, during the 101st’s deployment to Iraq, I attended my first military funeral. I will never forget seeing one of my scouting buddies trying to choke back tears during his father’s funeral Mass and his mother trying to hold it together and holding his baby brother while the officer knelt before her to present her with the folded flag. Death sucks, no matter how we package it.
The other thing about people coming up to thank us is that there are so many other people they should thank first. Sure, it’s a tough job and only 1% of the American population has the guts to do it, but Veteran’s Day is for thanking us. As much as we bitch and moan about how tired, hungry, and miserable we are, most of us do really enjoy parts of this wild ride. I think it is safe to say that you and all the other military spouses have the really tough part of the job. Sure, I know that the Friday before Mother’s Day is Military Spouse Appreciation Day, but I doubt that any muggles know that. I also doubt that anyone else is going to thank you today, so while people are getting their holidays mixed up, here is my thank you.
I know that while I’m out here having the time of my life, you are keeping everything at home running smoothly. Thank you. I know that you miss me and I want you to know that I miss you too. I know that you get overwhelmed by having to do both of our jobs. Thank you. I know that you are terrified of getting a late-night knock on the door. Today, I am safe and sound. Thank you for waiting for me. I know that those who don’t understand this burden can be so unsupportive, cold, mean, and even hateful. Thank you for bearing with them. I know that your service as a social worker can be draining and test your mental and emotional limits. Thank you for your work as a therapist and for all the help and comfort you have provided to those in need, especially to the vets.
To all our friends and family who pitch in when things go sideways while I am away, thank you. It is a great comfort to know that my darling has support when I cannot be there for her.
Babe, you are my hero. You don’t wear the uniform and don’t get the recognition, but you are the one who deserves it.
I love and miss you. I am sorry for not being there for you. I am sorry for not giving you the time and attention that you need. I am sorry for being so far away. I know that you knew what we were signing up for, but I also know that doesn’t make it any easier. I pray that these months will fly by and I am back in your arms before you have the chance to shed another tear.
May God bless you. Know that I am praying for you. I love you so much.
Love,
Your Soldier
Dear readers,
As Catholics, we know that it is a spiritual work of mercy to pray for the dead. Please take advantage of this civil holiday to pray for our departed troops and their families. Military life is tough on families. Yes, we have chosen this life, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
As you think about our service members today, please also think about their families. Include them in your prayers and show them your support.
Dear brothers and sisters-in-arms,
Let us feast our fallen and come together to support each other. Community saves lives. If you are going through it today, reach out to a battle buddy. Don’t be alone. If you are married and in the military, know that you are especially in our prayers. If your marriage needs support, please reach out to us for coaching.
Dear Gold Star spouses and children,
Thank you for your service and sacrifice. My heart goes out to you and I am praying for you.
In Christ Jesus,
James Walther
US Army National Guard
