Catholic Teaching on the Female Orgasm

For Couples
Written By James Walther, MA, ABS

Selections of Theology for Married Couples: Part 6

Despite mankind’s advances in medicine and research, the female orgasm remains quite a mystery both academically and practically. Some consider them as a pleasant, although unnecessary, side effect of sex, ignoring their importance in female sexual satisfaction and overall marital happiness (Dienberg et al., 2023). So what does the Church say about women’s orgasms? Sadly, not much. 

Now to be fair, the Church doesn’t say much about a man’s orgasm. Her concern is primarily with teaching what makes the act moral and so the openness to life. As anyone who has ever read anything on Catholic sexual teachings knows, for the marital act to be moral the man has to ejaculate in the vagina. So, even for men, the focus is on the ejaculation and not the orgasm. Where theologians do talk about orgasm is in relation to the secondary ends of marriage: the mutual love and support of the spouses and the remedy of concupiscence. Since ejaculation, orgasm, and sexual satisfaction typically coincide in men, husbands usually have an easy time getting their sexual needs met every time they have sex. For ladies, things might not be quite so easy.

Here is what the theologian Germain Grisez has to say:

“The wife’s complete sexual satisfaction (orgasm) is not necessary for sexual intercourse insofar as it is a reproductive function, but it does contribute to complete marital intercourse as a mutually satisfying experience of one-flesh communion. Hence, acts by the husband or the wife intended to intensify to orgasm her sexual arousal in continuity with any complete act of marital intercourse belong to that intercourse, and so they are marital, even if done during foreplay or after the husband’s ejaculation and withdrawal. However, any act intended to bring about her orgasm through arousal in no way continuous with that involved in marital intercourse would be a nonmarital act, and therefore wrong (Grisez, 1993).

My Thoughts

Since the Magisterium of the Church has not given any (to my knowledge) formal teachings on this specific point, here is where I would like to share my reflections and theological opinions, which you are free to accept or reject.

  1. There is research suggesting that the female orgasm does play a role in increasing a woman’s fertility by drawing semen into the fallopian tubes (King et al., 2016). If this proves true, then this function should be acknowledged and treated with greater importance in theological texts with regard to the procreative end of marriage. 

  2. Especially in women, an orgasm does not always equal sexual satisfaction. Some women require more than one orgasm in a sexual encounter to reach sexual satisfaction (Meston et al., 2004). For some, the first orgasm may effectively be the warm-up one. Because of this, I would propose that we rethink our perception of the female orgasm. Rather than thinking of orgasms as equalling sexual satisfaction, we should recognize that in polyorgasmic women, they are more like ladder rungs climbing to sexual satisfaction. I believe that seeing multiple orgasms in this way allows us to develop the theology presented by Grisez to permit the simulation of the wife to sexual satisfaction, including through multiple orgasms.

References:

James Walther, MA, ABS

James is a professional Catholic intimacy (relationship & sex) coach and theologian. He holds three degrees in theology from Holy Apostles College and Seminary and has done graduate studies in marriage and family therapy at Capella University. He is an EMT and ABS certified sexologist. His research interests include Catholic sexual ethics, the female orgasm, trauma, and the sacramentality of the minor orders. He is the translator of Yves Chiron’s Paul VI: The Divided Pope. He also serves in the Army National Guard.

https://linktr.ee/jamesbwalther
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