Bad Sex: How to Stop Having It
So the majority of my clients come to me with one goal in mind: stop having bad sex. Now what makes sex bad looks different for each couple, but by and large the number one reason is that the wife just doesn’t enjoy it. If the husband is initiating coaching, then usually it is because he can tell that she doesn’t enjoy it, their frequency of sex is low, she avoids sex, and/or she just wants to get it over with. In other cases, the husband is initiating because of his own struggles with how anxiety, depression, or erectile dysfunction affect his performance.
If the wife is initiating coaching, then it usually is because sex is not enjoyable or satisfying for her and so she avoids it, which she can see causes her husband distress. Some of the more common causes of her lack of enjoyment are painful sex (dyspareunia), vaginismus, low libido from medication, discomfort caused by pregnancy or a physical imparement, or a mental health condition (often past sexual trauma, anxiety, or depression).
While I do not treat medical conditions, I can teach techniques to help in overcoming them during sex. For example, with vaginismus, I work with clients to build trust and a sense of security, which can lead to a lessening or elimination of symptoms. In cases where the client would also benefit from medical care or therapy, I can help them to find a Catholic provider who can meet their needs. Many of my clients benefit from a tendem approach: seeing both a therapist and myself. The therapist focuses on healing past wounds, while I provide practical guidance to move forward.
The majority of my clients see a marked improvement in their sex lives within a matter of weeks. Some have been able to entirely overcome their previous obsitcles to enjoyable sex, including many wives who have not only been able to have their first orgasm in months or years, but are now able to orgasm regularly.
If you fall into one of the above groups, sex coaching may be right for you. Don’t settle for bad sex. Once bad sex becomes the norm, then it becomes very difficult to uproot without outside help. Take the first step to reclaim your marital intimacy.
