Polyorgasmy: How Many Orgasms Are Enough?

Despite the Hollywood buzz about women having multiple orgasms during the same sexual encounter and the growing body of research on the subject, much about the phenomenon is still unknown. Research however indicates that there are about as many women (~14%) who can orgasm multiple times as there are women who never orgasm (Lloyd, 2006). Now this is important because of how “polyorgasmic” or “multiorgasmic” (able to have multiple orgasms) women reach sexual satisfaction.

To understand how polyorgasmy affects sexual satisfaction, we need to understand the orgasmic process. There are four phases in this process (Masters and Johnson, 1966, as cited in Lloyd, 2006).

The EPOR Model

1. Excitement: initiation of sexual tension through psychological or physical stimulation

2. Plateau: heightened level of sexual tension and excitement

3. Orgasmic: “several seconds of involuntary climax, where the sexual tension is relieved in explosive waves of pleasure” (Lloyd, 2026, loc. 378)

4. Resolution: relief from the sexual tension, a feeling of sexual satisfaction.

Now interestingly, polyorgasmic women may not progress directly from the orgasmic phase to the resolution, but back to the plateau. In these cases, one or more additional orgasms will be necessary to reach the resolution phase. 

Now in men, polyorgasmy is much rarer than in women. Typically, men orgasm and ejaculate at the same time. Once they have done so they usually enter the “resolution” phase of the orgasmic process. It is in the resolution phase that one has a sense of relief and sexual satisfaction. One deviation from this, however, is when men orgasm through prostate stimulation, rather than penile stimulation. In this case, their orgasm is usually accompanied by the emission of prostatic fluid (with little to no sperm). In the Latin manuals of moral theology, this sort of emission is referred to as distillatio. Many men are able to continue to orgasm with ejaculation shortly after an orgasm with “distillation.” From a moral standpoint, each ejaculation completes the sexual act for a man. If he has multiple ejaculations, even a close intervals, then each one needs to fulfill the requirement of being open to life (penis-in-vagina).

In my coaching practice, I have observed that polyorgasmic women can end up feeling just as unsatisfied as women who never orgasm. My theory is that in both cases, it is because they end sex on the plateau phase. When this happens to a man, the effect is colloquially called “blue balls,” referring to the discomfort of unreleased sexual tension caused by the engorgement of blood vessels in the genital area. In women, the parallel is called “blue waffle.” In both cases, this can lead to frustration and a distaste for sexual encounters with that partner.

So how many orgasms does a woman need to have? That part is highly subjective. It depends on the woman, her arousal, fatigue, period in her menstrual cycle, nutrition, hydration, etc. For most women, one is enough to reach the resolution phase. In polyorgasmic women, it may be 2-3 most days, 1 on an odd day, and 6 on a blue moon. 

Is there such a thing as too many orgasms? Researchers have received reports of women reaching over a hundred sequential orgasms (Gérard et al., 2021). All things should be in temperance though. It’s not a race or a contest. If a woman needs multiple to reach a sense of resolution and satisfaction, that’s perfectly fine and I encourage her husband to do his best to help her get there. If, on the other hand, a woman needs so many orgasms that it becomes fatiguing to herself and/or her spouse, I would recommend that they focus their attention on improving the quality of her orgasms. 

I encourage couples with a polyorgasmic wife to be especially mindful of communicating throughout sex. Sometimes these couples will get lucky and she will be able to orgasm repeatedly through PIV intercourse and reach the resolution phase. If, however, she does not reach the resolution phase, I encourage them to continue with manual stimulation until she does or becomes fatigued (Grisez, 1993). If a couple knows that the wife usually requires multiple orgasms to reach the resolution phase, I encourage them to use manual stimulation before intercourse until she reaches it or feels that she is close to reaching it. This can have the bonus of enabling the couple to synchronize their PIV orgasms and reach resolution together.

If reaching sexual satisfaction is a struggle for you or your spouse, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for coaching.

References:

• Gérard, M., Berry, M., Shtarkshall, R. A., Amsel, R., & Binik, Y. M. (2021). Female multiple orgasm: An exploratory internet-based survey. Journal of Sex Research, 58(2), 206–221. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2020.1743224

• Grisez, G. (1993). Living a Christian Life: Marriage, Sexual Acts, and Family Life (Vol. 2). Franciscan Press. http://twotlj.org/G-2-9-E.htm 

• Lloyd, E. A. (2006). The case of the female orgasm: Bias in the science of evolution (Kindle ed.). Harvard University Press.

August 24, 2024 - Correction: “semen” changed to “sperm,” as prostatic fluid is one of the components of semen.

August 26, 2024 - Note: Multiorgasmic or multi-orgasmic are other terms for polyorgasmic.