The Ends of Marriage & Graces
Selections of Theology for Married Couples: Part 1
Introduction to the Treatise
Catholic Intimacy is partially a response to the plethora of erroneous marriage resources claiming to be Catholic. On one side we have Jansenists, who think that they are traditionalists, and on the other we have liberals who are pure hedonists. Catholic theology on marriage falls well between these two extremes, unfortunately the Church’s teachings on the matter can be rather difficult to find, unless you read Latin and have access to old theological manuals. Fortunately for us, I do read Latin, I do have a collection of reputable manuals in my library, and I have over ten years of formation to know how to read them and explain them for you.
Divisions of Theology
There are two main divisions of theology: dogmatic and moral. These two are like the lungs of faith: you need both. In more secular terms, you can think of them as the speculative and applied parts of the science of theology. This is not surprising because all theology is the study of God, and creatures in relation to him. Another way to look at them is that dogmatic theology teaches us truths of the faith, while moral theology is concerned with translating that faith into virtuous acts.
Now both dogmatic theology and moral theology consider marriage, so there are many topics that we could discuss. This blog, however, is dedicated primarily to Catholics who are already married. Thus, there are many things that could be said about marriage that we will leave to your own study, preferring to focus here on those parts that are important to understand for your marital intimacy.
The principal sources for this treatise are
Catechism of the Council of Trent for Parish Priests. Trans. John A. McHugh and Charles J. Callan. New York: Joseph F. Wagner, Inc., 1923. Kindle Edition.
Tanquerey, Alphonse. Brevior Synopsis Theologiae Dogmaticae. 10th ed. Paris: Desclée et Socii, 1956. Translations are my own.
Tanquerey, Alphonse. Synopsis Theologiae Moralis et Pastoralis: Tomus Primus: De Paenitentia, De Matrimonio et Ordine. 9th ed. Rome: Desclée et Socii, 1922. Translations are my own.
As always, I submit my work to the correction and amendment of the Magisterium.
Just in Case You Didn’t Know:
Marriage is a sacrament. Matrimony is defined as “The conjugal union of man and woman, contracted between two qualified persons, which obliges them to live together throughout life.”
Catechism: Part II, The Sacrament of Matrimony, Definition.
The Ends of Marriage
The Primary End of Marriage
“The primary end of marriage is the procreation and education of children.”
Theological note of certitude: Of divine faith [de fide divina] from Scripture.
No. 1195, Brevior Synopsis.
Old Testament:
“And God created man to his own image: to the image of God he created him: male and female he created them. And God blessed them, saying: Increase and multiply…”
Genesis 1:27-28.
New Testament:
Saint Paul says of women: “Yet she shall be saved through childbearing…”
I Timothy 2:15.
The Secondary End of Marriage
“The secondary end [of marriage] is the mutual aid of the spouses and the remedy of concupiscence.”
No. 1196, Brevior Synopsis.
Concerning Mutual Aid
This can be seen in the natural instincts of man and woman who expect some degree of mutual love and support in their marriage. Further, God created woman as the helpmate of man (Gen. 2:18) and for man to be the head of woman and to love her as Christ loves the Church (Eph. 5:22-23).
Concerning the Remedy of Concupiscence
The other secondary end of marriage is to settle and mitigate concupiscence. Interestingly, Tanquerey notes that concupiscence is settled especially by stable marriage. If you are struggling with concupiscence in marriage (temptations to lust, to masturbation, to look at porn, or to adultery), then your marriage is probably unstable.
This goes back to our theme of intimacy, a couple that is truly intimate is very stable because their unity makes the couple stronger than the individuals. Now concupiscence can make intimacy very difficult, especially when there are trust issues that arise from prior faults in. However, after the sacraments of confession and the Eucharist, open and honest communication with one’s spouse is one of the best ways to combat concupiscence. For ways to communicate with one’s spouse about one’s level of arousal, please see Megan’s article “Spoons and Scales: Tools for more than just the kitchen”.
Corollary
“The secondary end should be subordinated to the primary end.”
No. 1196, Brevior Synopsis.
This is for two reasons. The first is because those that are impotent (i.e. incapable of the marital act) or have been castrated cannot marry. The second is that those who positively reject ever being open to the procreation of children cannot validly marry. For example, a couple who intends to use contraception to avoid conception for the entirety of their childbearing years cannot validly marry.
Graces of the Sacrament of Matrimony
The Sacrament of Matrimony confers grace for the sanctification of the spouses. Further, the spouses are granted a right to receive actual graces as needed for the fulfillment of the duties of their state in life. Namely, these graces are (1) for the procreation and Christian education of children, (2) to foster the spouses’ chaste love, and (3) to moderate concupiscence.
No. 1239, Brevior Synopsis.
Edits:
November 11, 2023: Clarification on the intent to use contraception to avoid conception for the entirety of childbearing years invalidates the attempt to marry.
