The Marital Debt & Marital Rape
Responses to Katie and SadTrad
“Does Pope Saint John Paul II have anything to say on the topic of martial debt?” - Katie
“Lots of people today deny the existence of the marital debt, thinking that they’re protecting women, but this is only putting them in greater danger…The older I get the more convinced I become that besides Jesus, all men are sociopaths.” - SadTrad
Erotic Lactation: Sexy or Strange?
“My question is on the theme of breastfeeding (i.e., a husband orally drawing breast milk from his wife's breasts). I have seen the act called "adult breastfeeding" and even "erotic lactation" on secular sites.”
Catholic Teaching on the Female Orgasm
Despite mankind’s advances in medicine and research, the female orgasm remains quite a mystery both academically and practically. Some consider them as a pleasant, although unnecessary, side effect of sex, ignoring their importance in female sexual satisfaction and overall marital happiness (Dienberg et al., 2023). So what does the Church say about women’s orgasms?
Getting Frisky: Incomplete Sexual Acts
From a Reader: Please help us in clarifying a long standing confusion. Is it sinful for spouses to orally and manually stimulate each other’s genitals while abstaining from full marital union?
Sexual Intimacy for the Elderly
Sexual intimacy is a beautiful and meaningful aspect of life that transcends age. For the elderly, engaging in sexual intimacy can bring a renewed sense of closeness and connection with their spouse. While physical changes may occur with age, such as decreased libido or physical limitations, emotional intimacy remains a vital source of intimacy for the elderly. It is important to acknowledge and address any concerns or challenges related to sexual intimacy in this stage of life, seeking professional guidance if necessary. With open communication, patience, and understanding, couples can find ways to continue nurturing their bond through sexual intimacy, ensuring that their love and connection remain strong and fulfilling throughout their golden years.
Can Catholics Have Sex During the Wife’s Menstrual Period?
Historically, it was believed that children conceived during the menstrual period were usually, if not always, afflicted with blindness, lameness, leprosy, etc. Saint Thomas Aquinas writes that this ban was in place, not only for the ceremonial reason, but also because of the harm that would befall the children conceived.
The Moral Permissibility of Marital Aids, Oral and Anal Stimulation
Can Catholics do oral sex? Can Catholics do anal sex? Can Catholics use sex toys?
If you found this site because you did an internet search for one of those questions and want a short answer then here it is: it depends on what you mean by those terms.
The Marital Act, Cardinal Rule, and Pleasure Principles
“In necessary things unity, in doubtful matters freedom, in all things charity.” Augustine
As Humanae Vitae teaches, “it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life.” Following the example of Dr. Popcak, I have referred to this as the One Rule. Now, however, I prefer to refer to this as the “Cardinal Rule”. I have this preference because a cardinal rule is a rule upon which others depend, not to the exclusion of other rules. Calling the rule that every marital act must be open to procreation the “One Rule” gives the unfortunate impression that there are no other rules.
Justice & Chastity: The Marriage Debt
In our modern, independent, self-centered world, the idea of another person having rights over someone else’s body is likely to elicit ideas of enslavement and abuse. It will likely come as a shock to many married Catholics that their marriage vows formed a contract by which they gave their spouse a right to sexual intercourse with them. This right to the marital act is called the marital debt (debitum nuptiale). Now whenever we are talking about a debt we are talking about something that pertains to the virtue of justice. If I have something that belongs to you and you ask for it, then in justice I am obligated to give it to you. So when we talk about paying the marriage debt, we are talking about fulfilling a duty in justice.
Marital Lubricants: Morality and Efficacy
Please forgive the click bait title. It has come to my attention that some people think that artificial marital lubrication (sex lube) is somehow or other intrinsically evil or is only meant for immoral practices. Hopefully this article will set the record straight and set pious minds at ease.
Back Story
As is now public knowledge, we struggle with infertility. That has led to lots of time talking with Megan’s OB/GYN. One of the things that we quickly learned was that for couples like us, lubes may be medically recommended, but that not all lubes are created equal. A lube that seems safe (non-spermicidal) might be so thick that sperm can hardly swim in it. That has led to lots of research on this topic and was one of the reasons that we were inspired to launch Catholic Intimacy. We would rather spare other young Catholic couples the frustration of trying to be open to life and yet inadvertently self-sabotaging.
The Ends of Marriage & Graces
Catholic Intimacy is partially a response to the plethora of erroneous marriage resources claiming to be Catholic. On one side we have Jansenists, who think that they are traditional, and on the other we have liberals who are pure hedonists. Catholic theology on marriage falls well between these two extremes, unfortunately the Church’s teachings on the matter can be rather difficult to find, unless you read Latin and have access to old theological manuals. Fortunately for us, I do read Latin, I do have a collection of reputable manuals in my library, and I have over ten years of formation to know how to read them and explain them for you.