Can Catholics Practice BDSM?
Response to John S.
“It seems your defense of marital aids is primarily rooted in an inference from prior broader moral principles. Are there any authors who specifically address the question itself? Also, what are your thoughts on BDSM? Clearly the overwhelming vast majority of it seems sinful and wicked, but is it to be condemned anbsolutely and without residue?”
Dear John,
Part of the reason why I have taken the time to address the marital aid question is because of the lack of writing on the subject. If you Google the question, you will find a variety of Catholic theologians that take one or the other opinion, but in all cases, these are theological opinions, not doctrines. The Church has not formally addressed the question.
When it comes to BDSM, Fifty Shades of Grey introduced the American public to this idea of sort of "spicy sex," with bondage, whips, and a ton of sexual trauma. Hollywood does a good job of selling their ideas, so they successfully opened the door of BDSM to the general public. The problem is that BDSM encompasses such a broad range of practices that it is impossible to give blanket approval or condemnation. What classifies as BDSM is also very subjective. For some, wearing leather lingerie and light, sensual spanking may count. For others, BDSM involves real slavery and torture. Obviously, there is a big difference between the two.
Whenever I write an article on a delicate/complex topic, like BDSM, I take my time and do my research. When I sat down to write about BDSM, my research got stuck on the difficulty of defining what it is or at least giving a working description of what it encompasses. Even the acronym has multiple meanings: bondage, discipline (or domination), sadism (or submission), masochism.
Further, both sadism and masochism, in the proper sense of the terms, can be very problematic; however, many people who talk about BDSM do not actually mean them.
You cannot properly condemn what you cannot define. While there are many BDSM practices that are immoral, there are some practices that could be considered BDSM that can be permissible. So, a blanket condemnation would not be intellectually sound at this point.
I hope that helps.
In Christo,
James
Although the rates are lower than the general population, Catholics do get divorced. Far more live for years and even the rest of their lives in unhappy marriages. For many couples, including those who would say that their marriage is strong, sex is a point of division rather than unity. This can come from a variety of factors. There may be sexual trauma, sex may be painful, there may be a fear of getting pregnant, there may be emotional or physical abuse or neglect. For some couples, sex is a bargaining chip or a manipulation tool.