Marital Lubricants: Morality and Efficacy
Back Story
As is now public knowledge, we struggle with infertility. That has led to lots of time talking with Megan’s OB/GYN. One of the things that we quickly learned was that for couples like us, lubes may be medically recommended, but that not all lubes are created equal. A lube that seems safe (non-spermicidal) might be so thick that sperm can hardly swim in it. That has led to lots of research on this topic and was one of the reasons that we were inspired to launch Catholic Intimacy. We would rather spare other young Catholic couples the frustration of trying to be open to life and yet inadvertently self-sabotaging.
What is marital lubrication?
We prefer the term marital lubricants over the more commonly seen terms of sex lube or personal lubricants. We are talking about the same category of products. Marital lubrication or lube is a liquid or gel that is used to reduce friction and irritation during sexual activity. They CAN be used for any type of sexual activity, but doesn’t mean they should be.
Morality Reminder
Inanimate objects have no morality in themselves. It all depends on how they are used. My favorite example is of US troops using condoms to cover the muzzles of their rifles to keep them clean.
Lube Use
Many couples performing the marital act have no need of lube. Ideally, when a woman is sexually aroused her body produces sufficient natural lubrication for the marital act to be performed comfortably, and even quite pleasantly for both spouses. A bit of foreplay should do the trick. There are, however, many reasons why this might not be the case. Some women are never able to produce sufficient natural lube, others might temporarily not be able to do so due to dehydration, illness, hormonal imbalances, medication, menopause, etc.
Types of Lubes
There are innumerable varieties: water-based, fertility-friendly, spermicide, warming, tingling, flavored, etc. If you go to the average sex shop you will see a wall of different brands and varieties. Historically, olive oil, petroleum jelly, and even egg whites have been used. It can be a bit confusing, but by the end of this article you should be able to pick the right one for you and your spouse.
The three broad categories of lube
Water-based: easy to clean, gentle on skin, but they tend to not last as long as other types. E.g., Pre-Seed, Biogenesis
Silicone-based: less sticky, but lasts longer than water-based lube. E.g., Hybrid by Good Clean Love
Oil-based: tend to be stickier and harder to clean up. E.g., olive oil, petroleum jelly.
Basic Chemistry
Like dissolves like: water dissolves water-based products, silicone and oils break down products based on silicone and oil. So, silicone and oil based lubes are unsafe to use with silicone and latex toys, respectively. Similarly, water-based lubes dissolve in water and water itself does not make a good sex lube. So if you are interested in consummating in the shower, hot tub, etc., you may want to try a silicone-based or hybrid (silicone and water-based) lube.
Lubes to Avoid
There are lots of lubes on the market that contain spermicides. Although you could theoretically use them morally in some way shape or form, it is immoral to use them to complete the marital act. The other thing to be wary of is that everyone’s body chemistry is different. A lube that is great for one couple might cause irritation, rashes, burning sensations, or other health concerns for another. Bad-choices in lube can lead to yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, and other unpleasant conditions. If you have been struggling with any of these issues, please consult your OB/GYN about your lube. It could be the culprit!
God designed the human body wonderfully. No human-made lubricant perfectly imitates natural vaginal fluid. However, there are some that come pretty close, while most others are far from ideal. By the way, a non-spermicidal lube is just one that contains no drug known to kill sperm (Mackenzie, 2019). From what I can tell, most lubes on the market have been designed with pleasure as their primary objective, with little concern for their effects on sperm motility. Because of the proper ordering of the ends of marriage (and therefore the marriage act), it is important for us to make sure that the lubes we use are reasonably sperm-friendly.
Osmolality
Osmolality is the concentration of a solution expressed as the total number of solute particles per kilogram (Oxford Dictionary). It is important for sperm motility (i.e., for the sperm to be able to swim from the vaginal cavity to an egg in the fallopian tube) that the lube’s osmolality be as close as possible to naturally occurring cervical mucus. A lube with osmolality higher than cervical mucus will impede sperm movement. Below is a table showing the osmolality of some common lubes. This table has been compiled from a few of the sources in the bibliography.
| Human Secretion or Artificial Lube | | Osmolality (mOsm - milliosmoles) |
|---|---|
| Semen | 320 |
| Mid-cycle cervical mucus | 250-422 |
| Pré Vaginal Lubricant | 287.0 |
| Pre-Seed | 295 |
| Aquagel | 359.7 |
| Good Clean Love: BioGenesis | 250-400 |
| Good Clean Love: Almost Naked | 250-400 |
| Good Clean Love: BioNude | 250-400 |
| Good Clean Love: Liquid (water based) | 250-400 |
| Good Clean Love: Hybrid | 250-400 |
| K-Y Jelly | 1301.7 |
| Astroglide | 6,100 |
| K-Y Warming Jelly | 10,300 |
So there are several options that fall within the range of mid-cycle cervical mucus and are therefore at least somewhat apt for impregnation. Now if you are trying to conceive, then it may be a good idea to go with one of the varieties that is specifically marketed as fertility-friendly (Pre-seed or BioGenesis) because they have been especially formulated for maximum sperm motility. On the other hand, if you are not ovulating (because its not that time of the month, you have infertility issues, you are already pregnant or post-menopausal, etc.) then it’s not so important to worry about the formulation, so long as the lube does not contain spermicides.
Lube Application
Lubes can be applied to the head and shaft of the penis, or into the vagina with an applicator syringe. If you are trying to conceive then it is recommended that you use the applicator that comes with most fertility lubes, as that will maximize the effectiveness. You may find that it is a good idea to apply it both in the vagina and on the penis for maximum comfort.
So when picking a lube you should ask yourself a few questions:
| Question | Pre-Seed | | BioGenesis | | Almost Naked | | BioNude | | GCL: Liquid | | GCL: Hybrid |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| TTC* & ovulating? | ✓ | ✓ | ||||
| Using toys? | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ | |
| Doing it in water? | ✓ | |||||
| Particulary sensitive? | ✓ |
* TTC: trying to conceive
Note: The lubes listed above all fall within normal mid-cycle cervical mucus ranges and do not contain spermicides.
I hope this helps you better understand the selection and use of marital lubricants. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to comment below or use our contact page.
Disclaimer
I am not a medical doctor and nothing in this article is to be construed as medical advice. Please consult with a qualified medical profession if you have any medical questions about lubes. If you are using a lube and have any adverse reactions, please immediately discontinue use and seek medical attention.
Bibliography
Ayehunie, Seyoum, et al. “Hyperosmolal vaginal lubricants markedly reduce epithelial barrier properties in a three-dimensional vaginal epithelium model.” In Toxicology Reports. December 16, 2017. At National Library of Medicine, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.
Good Clean Love Staff. “What is Osmolality and How Does It Affect Your Vaginal Tissues?.” August 20, 2020. At Good Clean Love, goodcleanlove.com.
Mackenzie, Scott C., et al. “Vaginal lubricants in the couple trying-to-conceive: Assessing healthcare professional recommendations and effect on in vitro sperm function.” In PLoS One. May 14, 2019. At National Library of Medicine, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.
Yuko, Elizabeth. “Lube: Uses, Types, and Safety.” September 3, 2022. At Verywell Health, verywellhealth.com.
Edited December 10, 2022: Changed to a more descriptive title and corrected a few typos.
