Pius XI on the Greatness of Marriage
How great a boon of God this is, and how great a blessing of matrimony is clear from a consideration of man's dignity and of his sublime end. For man surpasses all other visible creatures by the superiority of his rational nature alone.
Heightening Your Senses: Introducing Blindfolds to the Bedroom
Have you ever noticed how when you cannot see all of your other senses seem heightened? Our brains can only process so much input, so they are forced to selectively prioritize sensations. By removing input from one sense, we allow others to take center stage. Think about enjoying the first sip of a fine wine or first bite of exquisite chocolate. We often instinctively close our eyes and focus our attention on our sense of taste.
Vatican II on Marriage and the Family
Through this union they experience the meaning of their oneness and attain to it with growing perfection day by day. As a mutual gift of two persons, this intimate union and the good of the children impose total fidelity on the spouses and argue for an unbreakable oneness between them.
Pius XII on Pleasure
The same Creator, Who in His bounty and wisdom willed to make use of the work of man and woman, by uniting them in matrimony, for the preservation and propagation of the human race, has also decreed that in this function the parties should experience pleasure and happiness of body and spirit. Husband and wife, therefore, by seeking and enjoying this pleasure do no wrong whatever. They accept what the Creator has destined for them.
Exodus 90: A Reset
Exodus 90 is a 90-day spiritual exercise for men. It was created to call men out of slavery and to God. The three pillars of Exodus 90 are prayer, asceticism, and fraternity. It seems that if you mention Exodus 90 in a crowd of Catholic men, they all know it as that program where you can't drink and you have to take cold showers. Yep, that's the one!
Sexy Body, Sexy Mind
There are two types of people in the world. One who experiences desire by seeing a hot bod and getting turned on, and the other who has to have a mental connection to be turned on.
Other Than the Ideal: Obstacles to Marital Intimacy
While this online forum is not intended to meet every need for everybody, it is intended to be a safe space that provides some resources for those who need it.
Stress and Intimacy: A Christmas Cocktail
Christmas is one of the most joyful times of the year. It is one of the most important liturgical seasons, being that in which we celebrate the Nativity of Our Lord. It can also be one of the most stressful times of the year. Now stress on a marriage can be in two forms: internal and external. Internal stresses are those between the couple themselves, while external are all those arising from children, family, friends, work, etc. These stresses are innumerable and come in varying degrees.
Festal Roses: The Marital State and Sanctity
As Catholics, every moment of our day, every part of our lives should be imbued with our Faith. There is never an inappropriate time to think of pious and holy things. Every room in our homes should have a crucifix and pious images. We should live ever in the presence of God and His Blessed Mother. Nor is there ever an inappropriate time to pray. The greatest saints live in a sort of constant state of prayer, known as the unitive way.
Awaiting the Immaculate Conception: Tears before the Feast
Pius tradition tells us that Mary’s parents, Saints Joachim and Anna, were elderly and had been struck with infertility. I say struck because infertility was seen in the Old Covenant as a mark of God’s displeasure. As is always the case, the Cross must be carried before the glory of the Resurrection. The greater the cross, the greater the glory. As with Sarah, Hannah, the parents of Saint John the Baptist and others, this was not a punishment. Rather, God was asking them to carry a great cross for a long time, holding on to hope.
The Moral Permissibility of Marital Aids, Oral and Anal Stimulation
Can Catholics do oral sex? Can Catholics do anal sex? Can Catholics use sex toys?
If you found this site because you did an internet search for one of those questions and want a short answer then here it is: it depends on what you mean by those terms.
Pride
In my experience working with families, I’ve seen pride be the root of a lot of arguments that were unnecessary. Both parties believe they know best or can do best, and it starts an argument about who is right and who is wrong. Afterwards, we typically don’t even remember what we were so angry about, because the actual thing didn’t matter all that much- our pride did. And it can become really easy to lose sight of the fact that you are both on the same team. You are both working towards the same goal- the good of the family. You just have different perspectives and viewpoints of the right way to bring good to the family.
The Marital Act, Cardinal Rule, and Pleasure Principles
“In necessary things unity, in doubtful matters freedom, in all things charity.” Augustine
As Humanae Vitae teaches, “it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life.” Following the example of Dr. Popcak, I have referred to this as the One Rule. Now, however, I prefer to refer to this as the “Cardinal Rule”. I have this preference because a cardinal rule is a rule upon which others depend, not to the exclusion of other rules. Calling the rule that every marital act must be open to procreation the “One Rule” gives the unfortunate impression that there are no other rules.
Alphabet Date
I present to you the Alphabet Date. The premise is that you start with the letter A and work your way through Z, only doing activities or going to places that correspond with the letter you’re on.
Justice & Chastity: The Marriage Debt
In our modern, independent, self-centered world, the idea of another person having rights over someone else’s body is likely to elicit ideas of enslavement and abuse. It will likely come as a shock to many married Catholics that their marriage vows formed a contract by which they gave their spouse a right to sexual intercourse with them. This right to the marital act is called the marital debt (debitum nuptiale). Now whenever we are talking about a debt we are talking about something that pertains to the virtue of justice. If I have something that belongs to you and you ask for it, then in justice I am obligated to give it to you. So when we talk about paying the marriage debt, we are talking about fulfilling a duty in justice.
The Importance of Novelty
Think about when you’re sick and you haven’t left the house or a specific room for days and you start to feel stir crazy. This is your mental health telling you it needs a squash or a pumpkin to keep up engagement.
Safeguarding Your Marriage
We talk about how God is pure. And we’re made in His image. Well if we’re made in His image, then we should be pure throughout marriage and what does that look like to safeguard it?
Marital Lubricants: Morality and Efficacy
Please forgive the click bait title. It has come to my attention that some people think that artificial marital lubrication (sex lube) is somehow or other intrinsically evil or is only meant for immoral practices. Hopefully this article will set the record straight and set pious minds at ease.
Back Story
As is now public knowledge, we struggle with infertility. That has led to lots of time talking with Megan’s OB/GYN. One of the things that we quickly learned was that for couples like us, lubes may be medically recommended, but that not all lubes are created equal. A lube that seems safe (non-spermicidal) might be so thick that sperm can hardly swim in it. That has led to lots of research on this topic and was one of the reasons that we were inspired to launch Catholic Intimacy. We would rather spare other young Catholic couples the frustration of trying to be open to life and yet inadvertently self-sabotaging.
Decompression & Reconnection
Is the difficulty of your day hindering your relationship with your spouse? Are you often zoned out, gone to play video games, or distracted? Let’s talk about two scenarios people might fall into and what you can do about it to build intimacy with your spouse.
The Ends of Marriage & Graces
Catholic Intimacy is partially a response to the plethora of erroneous marriage resources claiming to be Catholic. On one side we have Jansenists, who think that they are traditional, and on the other we have liberals who are pure hedonists. Catholic theology on marriage falls well between these two extremes, unfortunately the Church’s teachings on the matter can be rather difficult to find, unless you read Latin and have access to old theological manuals. Fortunately for us, I do read Latin, I do have a collection of reputable manuals in my library, and I have over ten years of formation to know how to read them and explain them for you.